Music For Thanksgiving Day

I made ya a mixed tape. It's just a few of the songs that sound like "Thanksgiving" to me. I don't really know what "Thanksgiving" sounds like, well, besides the grunts and groans from overeating.

Regardless, I like my music to be geriatric relaxing, as I have enough chaos in my house already. I don't need any additional noise making me wanna stab my eardrums with a meat fork. Just sayin'.

So here are my Top Ten Songs For Thanksgiving. No one asked me to promote these tunes--and if they did, they wouldn't want to be named. These are my picks! My taste in music! Mine mine mine!

Keep in mind I was forced to watch Lawrence Welk as a child. And the one time I dared to make fun of the show, my mom sent me right to bed. To bed!

So... where was I? Okay, I will mention, as my holiday gift to you, that you can get $3 in free MP3 downloads at Amazon from now through November 29th. See? Happy Thanksgiving.

My Top Ten Songs For Your Thanksgiving Listening Pleasure

1. Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving Theme
   
   
2. George Winston's Thanksgiving and Woods
   
   
3. We Gather Together:  Jazz, Piano, The Least Offensive Vocal Arrangement I Could Find, Piano with someone "doo dooing" in the background, Guitar, Violin  
   
   
4. Simple Gifts:  Yo-Yo Ma on the cello and Alison Krauss in the clouds, The rendition from the 2009 Presidential Inauguration, Copland, glorious Copland, New York Philharmonic 
   
   
5. Straight No Chaser's America the Beautiful
   
   
6. My Country Tis of Thee performed by Crosby and Nash
   
   
7. He's Always Been Faithful by the beloved Sara Groves
   
   
8. Fernando Ortega's performance of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
   
   
9. Josh Groban and his incredible rendition of Simon and Garfunkel's America
   
   
10. Over the River and Through the Woods:  Vocals which make you feel all skippy inside, Piano

Anything you'd add to this list? Something classy and relevant, perhaps?

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Stretch Mark Mama On Facebook

It's true. You can now fan me and feed me grapes over on ye olde Book of the Face.

Many times I've wanted to post a quick thought or link on my personal page, but immediately realized it would either bore, annoy, or borenoy (for short, and please pronounce that with a French accent) my Facebook friends. ("Friends.") And then when I considered opening up my personal page to the world wide web, I decided against that plan too, seeing as pictures of my nine-year-old's teeth are not all that interesting to the greater population. 

So, I've split my personality in two--which is a good start--and you can interact with me and my "blog persona" over at Facebook.

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PS: Kudos to the hubs who cleaned up my blog design, gave me some snazzy new buttons, and set my Facebook page up for me. Or rather, for the Stretch Mark Mama. 

Thanksgiving Books For Children

I searched through my local bookstore slash library slash book heap at home to pick out some of my favorite Thanksgiving books for kids. I separated the titles into two categories: "for geeks" and "for goofs." I'm guessing you fit into at least one of those.

For Geeks

The Story of Thanksgiving:  What's especially endearing about this board book is that it includes the name "Squanto," which at the tender age of giggle-and-a-half, my boys thought was hilarious. No disrespect to dear Squanto, of course. 

It's Thanksgiving:  There's nothing that makes a holiday gathering more awkward geeky than the reading of some poetry. But this collection of Jack Prelutsky poems is not just understandable but entertaining too. After all, who can resist a poem centered on the traditional Thanksgiving theme--overeating?

Pardon That Turkey:  Sure... you can make a Pilgrim hat with one brain lobe tied behind your back, but can you explain how Thanksgiving became a national holiday? Huh? I didn't think so. But this early reader book tells all.

If You Were at the First Thanksgiving:  This resource is great for parents and teachers of grade school kids. In Q&A format, the book answers several questions like: "Who was in charge of the cooking?" and "What did the Pilgrims and Indians do after they ate?" If the answer to the first one is "men," then I'm off to proclaim a "traditional Thanksgiving" in my very own household. And as for what they did after dinner, I'm guessing they slipped into a turkey-induced coma and then watched some football on the telly. My facts are a little fuzzy.

 

Thanksgiving on Thursday:  Seeing as history has always been a tough subject for me, I delight that there are books to make it less painful--and even fun--for my kids. Thank you, Magic Tree House. The companion book, Pilgrims, takes the nerd-like fun to a whole new level.

For Goofs

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving:  Such a cute, cute parody of the original Christmas poem. Now while there's not a throwing up of the sash, there is a group of kids who dash to rescue some turkeys and hide them under their coats. And if you think that type of thing is too cute--never fear. There's an axe involved in the story. All is well.

Ten Fat Turkeys:  This book is all about counting, and I'm not talking about calories. (Whew!) The story starts with ten turkeys on a fence, and the plot thickens from there. But who can resist a book with the oft' repeated line, "Gobble gobble wibble wobble?" Not silly ol' me!

Amelia Bedelia Talks Turkey:  I generally recommend Amelia Bedelia books for ages six and up, as the younger crowd simply doesn't catch why she's funny. That being said, no doubt one of you has a genius kid who giggled at crazy ol' Amelia from the womb. If so, move along, move along, nothing to see on this here blog but a bunch of lame-o jokes and unrefined humor.

I Know and Old Lady Who Swallowed a Pie:  I don't care who ya are--old ladies who overeat are hilarious. Better yet, this old lady overeats at the Thanksgiving feast. Imagine that! It's a cheery tale for friends and family alike. Okay, so maybe it's not so cheery for an overweight lady nearing the end of her life. So, there's that.

A Plump and Perky Turkey:  I'm starting to sense a theme in these here titles, don't ya think? I have no doubt that if the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock today, this book would be a part of their collection.

What would you add to this list?

Disclosure: No one's giving me a free turkey for promoting these books. I just like books. Always have; always will. But if you click on one of those amazon links and make any kind of purchase, I get a non-plump percentage of the sale. It supports my addiction to whipped cream, what can I say?

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Crock Pot Sweet Potato Casserole

During the holidays, my oven is as stuffed as a turkey on Thanksgiving Day. Except that little analogy does not apply to me, as the thought of sticking my hand inside a turkey and filling it with Something I'd Like To Later Eat grosses me out. But still. "Stuffed."

So to alleviate the traffic jam in the oven, I started cooking my sweet potato casserole in the crock pot as well. "As well?" you ask. Yes. I cook my turkey in a crock pot too. And it is just as fabulous as this here dessert vegetable casserole.

Crock Pot Sweet Potato Casserole

3 cups cold mashed sweet potatoes (plain) (appx. 4 potatoes)

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup milk

1/4 cup butter or margarine, softened

3 eggs

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Topping:

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup chopped pecans

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons cold butter or margarine

Prior to making this dish, cook the sweet potatoes in a crock pot (with a little water) on HIGH for 4 hours. You can peel the potatoes before or after cooking--doesn't matter. 

In a mixing bowl, beat the cooled and mashed sweet potatoes, sugar, milk, butter, eggs, salt and vanilla until smooth. Transfer to a greased 5-quart slow cooker. In a small bowl, combine brown sugar, pecans and flour; cut in butter until crumbly. Sprinkle over potato mixture. Cook in crock on HIGH for 3-4 hours. Or, if desired, this recipe can be baked in a 2-quart dish for 45-50 minutes in a 325 degree oven. Yield: 8-10 servings.

Speaking of a stuffed oven...this clip from "The Middle" made me laugh:

Check out my other Thanksgiving Day recipes or head on over to Ann's Food on Fridays.

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Thanksgiving Day Activities For Kids

I tolerate get into American History and all, but for me--Thanksgiving is about the food. Specifically, making the food in my kid-free kitchen. That's right! That's what I said! Get outta my kitchen, ya ankle-biters!

As you can see, I celebrate this holiday with a grateful and kindhearted spirit. As always.

So to keep the little tykes busy, I like to set them free with some Thanksgiving Day Activities that cost me approximately 22 seconds of time. "Quality time," if you will.

I've listed ten of those activities below, and all they require is an ability to click and press "print." Let me know if I'm going too fast.

Click and print this:  

And then while you're cooking or watching the tube (as the Pilgrims would have wanted!) on Thanksgiving Day, have your kids do any number of these with the printout of pumpkins:

1. Hide and Seek: Cut out and then hide each of the pumpkins in one or two rooms. Then the kids (not the ones who hid the pumpkins, my word, do I have to spell this out?!) get to go seek. If you are feeling especially devious, don't hide the pumpkins and say you did. Hours of fun!
   
   
2. Alphabet Game: On each pumpkin, write one letter of the alphabet. Cut out the squares and have the budding genius of the family put them in order. Google "English alphabet" if you need help with the sequence.
   
   
3. Addition Game: Print out several thousand sheets and cut into squares. Get out a couple of dice (sorry! getting complicated!) and let the kids take turns rolling to see how many pumpkins they earn, based on the total shown on the dice. Example, 3 + 4 = 7 means the kid collects seven of the pumpkins from the stack. Then it's the next person's turn, and play until someone has 100 pumpkins or everyone is crying. Your choice.
   
   
4. Small Banner Craft: Print on colored (or white! white is fine!) paper and have the child (or capable adult) write the letters "HAPPY THANKSGIVING" on the sheet, one letter per pumpkin. Then cut and paste each letter to a strip of paper, preferably in some kind of meaningful order.
   
   
5. Table Decor: This could be for the kids' table, or for The Big Table if you aren't super-squeamish around Amateur Hour Crafts. Simply have the kids color the pumpkins, and use them to decorate your home for the holiday.
   
   
6. Nameplates: Cut out two adjacent pumpkins, and fold at the line. Let the kids write the names of your guests on the pumpkins, and then use them to label the seats at the table. That is, if you get into that sort of anal-retentive thing, which I most certainly do, thank you very much.
   
   
7. Tic Tac Toe: Cut out a 3 x 3 square as the board, and use the other pumpkins as playing pieces. Color or label the individual pieces as desired. I recommend "Xs" and "Os" and you can tell folks--you heard it here first.
   
   
8. Bookmark or Headband Craft: Color and cut the page of pumpkins vertically to make bookmarks, or horizontally to make a headband. If you're feeling the holiday spirit, glue a feather to the back of the headband. Make it a history lesson, people.
   
   
9. Memory Game: Color each of the columns a separate color--preferable with crayon so that the color doesn't seep through. Otherwise--the game is pointless. Then, cut out each of the pumpkins and lay out (color-side down) in a game of "Memory." And if you don't remember how to play the game, well, you need a better memory to look it up, that's all.
   
   
10. Thankfulness List: Some see Thanksgiving as a day to be thankful. Crazy, right? But if you're one of those kind of people, then your kids can write one thing they are thankful for on each of the pumpkins. At the dinner table, read the lists out loud. Of course, screen the lists beforehand, otherwise, there might be too much gratitude going on about gas.

Hopefully these simple ideas help make your Thanksgiving a happy one. For more tips, head over to Works For Me Wednesday!

E-mail me if you want a clean pdf of the pumpkin printout and list of activities!

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Easy Like Friday Afternoon

I've never been a "Fun Mom." And with nine years down, the forecast for the next fourteen ain't looking so jovial either.

But I determined that during this school year, I was going to be more "spontaneous" and "fun." I put those words in quotes, you see, because any "fun" that's "spontaneous" generally ends up looking a lot like "I had a plan all along." I can't help myself. But the kids aren't clued into my plans, so ha! I somewhat, on occasion, look like a "Fun Mom."

One thing I've been doing to help this fun along is schedule our week for four nightmarish days of school versus five. See? I can't be all fun, all the time. And then when the sun shines, I surprise my kids with a midday trip to the park or a stop by the coffee shop for a raspberry mocha. All in the interest of the children, of course.

Our latest adventure took us to Multnomah Falls, a regional treasure just a half hour from our house. The drive down the Columbia Gorge is always a sight to see, and was made even lovelier with Neil Patrick Harris speaking sweet nothings reading to us on the way there and back.

A highlight of Friday's trip was seeing a handful of salmon swimming upstream in the river. You know what's funny? Watching salmon swim upstream in a river. They swam and they swam and they swam and they got--well, nowhere. I laughed so hard at one particular fish that I saw it pop back a Xanax. I should come with a warning label.

A great thing about going to a touristy spot in the middle of a school day is that no one was there. No one! Of course by "no one," I really mean, "twenty or so people getting in the way of my view." But still.

Now because it was fifty degrees below zero outside and I had packed a bag full of books, I took the kids inside the lodge that is right on site, just as nature intended. Its restaurant has a great view of the falls--and better yet--the happiest little cups of hot chocolate. And how can you not like hot chocolate with a side of Here Read This Book And Then Draw Some Pictures While You Recite Your Memory Work To Me Out Loud?

See? What more proof do you need? I am indeed a "Fun Mom."

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Read-Aloud Resources

As the sole educator of my beloved offspring, I spend a good part of each day fretting over the best methods of making helping them learn. Should they do more worksheets? Memorize more facts? Spend more time staring at the squirrels?

On any given year day, I rarely get the "magic formula" right. I mean, if anything, I feel like I'm raising my kids to be monkeys in a zoo. Well, monkeys or dodo birds. I haven't decided which.

But one thing that almost ten years of experience has taught me, okay--one thing that research has taught me--is that reading aloud is one of the very best, super best, goodiest best things we can do for our kids. Why?

In reading aloud, we:

• Condition the child's brain to associate reading with pleasure;
• Create background knowledge;
• Build vocabulary;
• Provide a reading role model. (source)

Now here's the thing. I honestly believe you could read stock quotes and SpongeBob to your kids, but who wants to? Ugh. Eventually it's good to read something that both parents and kids will enjoy.

That's why I keep a copy of The Read-Aloud Handbook and Honey for a Child's Heart close by my side. Seriously. I spoon with them at night! And during the day, I refer to them for titles of quality, life-enriching books to read to my kids.

And here's something you'll rarely hear me say: I think you should own one of these books. I know! I use my copy of Honey for a Child's Heart too often to keep borrowing it from the library. And I also mark it up and make notes about the books we like best.

And now I'll end with a quote which, ironically enough, is from a movie. It's one of my favorites, as is this line by the character Kathleen Kelly, in talking about helping her mom run a bookstore:

I started helping my mother here after school when I was six years old. I used to watch her, and it wasn't that she was selling books, it was that she was helping people become whoever they were going to turn out to be. When you read a book as a child, it becomes part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your life does.

True dat, dearest and fictional Kathleen Kelly. True dat.

What are some other resources for finding good read-aloud books?


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Thanksgiving Thankfulness Journal

Maybe you go about your days with a song in your heart, but not me. Okay, so maybe I *do* sing a song, but it sounds more like Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me:

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

And please, please tell me there is another Hee Haw fan in this crazy bunch of readers, lest I end up thinking I am the only one who is Hick To The Core.

But before I get back on topic, allow me to say just one more thang: "You met another...and phfffffbt you was gone."

Now, back to our regularly scheduled Helpful Blog Post.

In our family, we generally need a Good Ol' Shove In The Rear to focus on the positive things of life. (Oh! You are so shocked!) So we created a Thanksgiving Thankfulness Journal, something we write in each Turkey Day. Not that we try to squeeze all of our gratefulness into one day, mind you, but it's a start. Each person writes or draws what they are thankful for that year.

When my son was five, that happened to be fire hydrants and peas. And he meant "peas," not "pees" as some of you might be thinking, and I have the page colored with little green veggies to prove it.

Then each Stuff Yourself Day, it is fun to go back and read and cackle at the entries from the years before. And if you look closely, you might even see a tear or two escape from my eyes.

Now...that might be from me cutting the onions for the dressing, but it might not be. I have a heart in there somewhere, and taking the time to be thankful helps to draw it out. Literally.

And that's what works for me this thanksgiving season. For more ideas, head over to We Are That Family.


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Cartographer Comedians

I asked my six-year-old to draw an outline of the United States, which he did with much eagerness and...hilarity. I had no idea that maps were so funny. I also had no idea that the U.S. looks like a monster--with Maine and Florida as the legs, and Michigan as the butt cheeks. Guess that sounds about right though.

The nine-year-old's task was to label the states, as many as he could from memory. You know what I ended up with? A map labeled as so:

Texas = T-Rexas
Iowa = I-Owe-A-Lot
Illinois = Sick-Annoy
Minnesota = Mint-Soda
Mississippi = Hit-Sippy
Florida = Ceiling-Duh
New York = New Egg
Maine = Lion
Arkansas = Sea World

Cartographer Comedians. Who knew?

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Apple Berry Pie

I drove my family crazy two hours out of the city to make them pick apples. From actual trees, mind you, and not from the grocery store bins like they usually do. 

Hubs was afraid the whole apple-picking experience was going to be long and drawn out, but I knew. I knew. I set three kids free in an apple orchard, and within minutes we had a box full of apples. Ripe ones, unripe ones, ones that had been "pre-picked" and were sitting all ready to go on the ground. Tubular!

I used most of the apples to make applesauce in the crockpot, which was divine, but the rest I used for this pie. I use the term "pie" loosely seeing as it's the lazy man's way to make a pie. It's more like a cobbler with a weaved pie-like crust.

Apple Berry Pie

1 cup white sugar

4 teaspoons cornstarch

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 cups fresh blackberries (or other berries)

2 cups apples, peeled, cored and sliced

2 tablespoons butter, cut into small pieces

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together the sugar, cornstarch, and cinnamon. Add berries and apple slices. Toss gently to coat without mashing the berries. Spoon filling into greased square dish or round pan. Dot with butter and cover with top crust (see below). Bake in preheated oven for 45 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Cool on wire rack. 

Pie Crust

1/2 cup butter or vegetable shortening

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup ice cold water

Mix butter (or shortening), flour, and salt together with a fork or a pastry blender until very crumbly. Add as much water as needed to hold together, and mix lightly with a fork. Roll gently on a floured surface to a square or circle just a little larger than your pan. Using a pizza cutter, slice the rolled dough into half-inch strips and then weave those onto the top of the fruit.

More recipes over at Ann's Food on Fridays!

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Proper Use Of Me, Myself, and I

After impressing ye olde readers with my burping skillz, I figured I'd give y'all whiplash by posting about good grammar. You see, I am improving myself. Or should I say, "The library loaned myself a grammar book so me is improving I a lot."

(Oh, that sentence hurts my eyes. Or should I say, "my i's" heh heh heh. Okay not so much.)

It's when I'm talking up a storm that I have to stop and think about when to use "me," "myself," or "I." The one trick I've learned is to dump the other names in the sentence and make it all about me. As it should be. Examples:

When to use "I"

Hick

• Otis and me went to duh outhouse.
  (Me went to duh outhouse.)

Proper

• Otis and I went to the outhouse.
  (I went to the outhouse.)

When to use "me"

Hick

• You smell dat stink comin' from Otis and I?
  (You smell dat stink comin' from I?)

Proper

• You smell that stink coming from Otis and me?
  (You smell that stink coming from me?)

When to use and not use "myself"

Hick

• Hurry! Send some toily paper out fer Otis, Billy Bob and myself!
  (Send some out fer myself!)

Proper

• Hurry! Send some toilet paper out for Otis, Billy Bob and me!
  (Send some out for me!)

Proper

• I hauled all that toilet paper out by myself.
  (The "myself" is referring back to the subject "I.")

See? Now I've redeemed myself with that quick and dirty lesson in grammar.

(And I bet there's someone in this crowd who can explain the proper use of "me," "myself," and "I" using grammatical terms. Not me. Ahem.)

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Piggy See, Piggy Do, Piggy Read Right Side O' You

My kids burp and chew with their mouths open at the table. I know. It's like they've been raised by a herd of wild hogs well, never mind. Let's just mention the phrase "Piggy See, Piggy Do Piggy Pee All Over You" and leave it at that.

(Oh, I need to get me sum uh dat refinement or sumpin'.)

You know, one downside to spending 87 hours a day with my kids is that they mimic my every behavior and quote my every line. (Verbatim!) Not sure why it does, but it shocks me that my nine-year-old worships "Apple," the six-year-old demands perfection, and the four-year-old paces like a madwoman while yappin' on the phone.

Huh. And did I mention their mad skillz at replying in belched phrases?

(If any of my college friends remark about my burping, I'll deny every word of it. I will. You can't believe them! I am a reformed, classy kind of gal. Yes. Yes I am!)

So anyway. I happened across this little ditty in the Read-Aloud Handbook that's had me thinking all week:

Since 1956, no newspaper, network, or news agency has been able to correctly predict the outcome of all thirteen presidential elections--except for one group. Every four years for a half century, the quarter million children who vote in the Weekly Reader presidential poll have been right every time.

Like little sponges, they sit there in living rooms, kitchens, and cars, soaking up all the words and values of their parents, and then walk into a classroom and squeeze them onto a piece of paper. It's simple arithmetic: the child spends 900 hours a year in school and 7,800 hours outside of school. Which teacher has the bigger influence?

Surprisingly, that quote does not go on to talk about elections (THANK THE LORDS OF KOBOL*) or bodily noises, but about raising a reader by being a reader and reading aloud to your kids. Which is a very fine topic that I'll get to a little bit later, but my word at the excessive nonsense going on in this post already.

Speaking of elections, don't forget to go vote for the candidate whose name sounds the best when spoken in a burp. Hey, it works for me.

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