I'm Buying Stock In Purell (And Prayer)
I was eight months pregnant with my first child when 9/11 hit. That was a great welcome into the world of parenting, letmejustellya.
I've always had an overdeveloped fear of death, and that went viral once the kids came around. Every threat wasn't just a threat to me, but to the three little people I'm responsible for. Call me an egomaniac, but I happen to think that my kids--for the most part--do better with me in their lives versus not.
Now. Onto my point.
Swine flu.
I've done my share of making jokes about the thing, and hopefully the whole pig gig will just blow over (or be sent to the sea).
But underneath all my lightheartedness is the ever-present fear that something awful will happen to me or my kids. Swine flu or no--I don't need much to feed the fear. And I've got three kids who have the independent streak of their mother and a great propensity for sticking their fingers in their noses/eyes/mouths. It is also not unusual for two of my three kids to lick the windows on the bus or kiss the telephone poles on the street.
Not. making. that. up.
So while everyone is saying, "just make sure to wash your hands," I'm saying, "YOU EVER TRY TO CONTROL THREE SQUIRRELY KIDS?"
No. I think not.
It's in these times of great out-of-controlness that I call on my friend Sara Groves to encourage me.
(Notes: It's Sara singing, but this is NOT her video; it's the best that YouTube could do. Also, the lyrics are below.)
Prayers for This Child by Sara Groves
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
As a mother I don't want my baby denied
But in the waiting, in the waiting
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
Every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
Take the arrows of misery heartache and blame
But in the sorrow, in the sorrow
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
I only have two eyes - be all seeing
I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - be all knowing
I give my baby up into your care
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
I want to guard him from everything wicked and wild
But in the trial in the trial
I learned to hold on
And in the trial, in your trials
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
And that's what I'm praying today. With a tub of Purell in my pocket.
I've always had an overdeveloped fear of death, and that went viral once the kids came around. Every threat wasn't just a threat to me, but to the three little people I'm responsible for. Call me an egomaniac, but I happen to think that my kids--for the most part--do better with me in their lives versus not.
Now. Onto my point.
Swine flu.
I've done my share of making jokes about the thing, and hopefully the whole pig gig will just blow over (or be sent to the sea).
But underneath all my lightheartedness is the ever-present fear that something awful will happen to me or my kids. Swine flu or no--I don't need much to feed the fear. And I've got three kids who have the independent streak of their mother and a great propensity for sticking their fingers in their noses/eyes/mouths. It is also not unusual for two of my three kids to lick the windows on the bus or kiss the telephone poles on the street.
Not. making. that. up.
So while everyone is saying, "just make sure to wash your hands," I'm saying, "YOU EVER TRY TO CONTROL THREE SQUIRRELY KIDS?"
No. I think not.
It's in these times of great out-of-controlness that I call on my friend Sara Groves to encourage me.
(Notes: It's Sara singing, but this is NOT her video; it's the best that YouTube could do. Also, the lyrics are below.)
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
As a mother I don't want my baby denied
But in the waiting, in the waiting
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
Every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
Take the arrows of misery heartache and blame
But in the sorrow, in the sorrow
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
I only have two eyes - be all seeing
I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - be all knowing
I give my baby up into your care
I do not know how I am to pray for this child
I want to guard him from everything wicked and wild
But in the trial in the trial
I learned to hold on
And in the trial, in your trials
I learned to hold on to the heart of God
5 comments:
One of my close friends gave birth the day before 9/11. She felt much the same as you on that day, holding her newborn and terrified of what was to come.
That just gets to the core. If life were smooth sailing, why would we have need of God? And then I would miss His comfort and rescue and redemption of situations that seemed hopeless. [sigh.] Oh to keep on growing! Good stuff.
I totally get this now that I have a little Sprout of my own. I have worked to live without fear in my own life, but now that I have a little one to protect those old sometimes-irrational fears are popping their heads up.
I used to love thunderstorms. I'd stay up late just to watch them and when there were tornado warnings, I was always torn between standing on the porch to see it and rushing to the basement for safety.
Then I had children and let me tell you did my perspective on storms change. I was worried for them. AND for me. What would they do if I blew away in a storm? I still get a little anxious, but after ten years and living in tornado alley you either get over it or go crazy.
Hi, I am new to your blogs. I love them. We have a lot in common. I love Sara. We had her songs played at my wedding. I too have to face fear with God really close. Fear has tried to hold me back for many years. So thanks for sharing this. Oh, by the way my blog is not up-to-date. I took a break after I had my 4th baby. She is now 6m and I am ready to start back.
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