Let's Start This Week Off With Something Shallow: Our Souls.
As I listen to the political parties talk about the "education crisis," I can't help but think about Michael Card* and this thought on parenting:
He goes on to say that not everyone can or wants to homeschool:
There are many reasons why we homeschool, but that phrase about not "being a stranger to your child's soul" was one of the most influential.
What do you think about that "stranger" phrase? Is it impacting today's education crisis? Why or why not?
If that's too much work for a Monday, you can answer this one: Whatdja have for breakfast?
*Totally dating myself there.
"Early in our marriage, Susan and I read a book by a rabbi, Abraham Heschel, who talked about being a stranger to your child's soul. That phrase impacted us, and we determined we didn't want to miss our kids' childhood. For us that meant homeschooling."
He goes on to say that not everyone can or wants to homeschool:
"But it's important to realize that even if your children are in public school, the most significant part of their schooling still comes from you. So there shouldn't be any difference between the two groups." [Source.]
There are many reasons why we homeschool, but that phrase about not "being a stranger to your child's soul" was one of the most influential.
What do you think about that "stranger" phrase? Is it impacting today's education crisis? Why or why not?
If that's too much work for a Monday, you can answer this one: Whatdja have for breakfast?
*Totally dating myself there.
10 comments:
As a former teacher, I would definitely say that for the vast majority of parents, their child's soul is a stranger. Between work, daycare, and extracurricular activities, so many parents are spending their time giving their children a good life but not actually spending time with their kids. My second graders knew everything about their favorite celebrity, but couldn't tell me very much about their parents. I've no doubt that the parents meant well, but they were missing out on so much. You cannot achieve the same results in a mass educational setting that you can in a one-on-one or small group setting. Teachers today are stretched ridiculously thin; I was expected to teach the three R's as well as manners, conflict resolution, and in some cases, hygiene. So many things that should have been taught at home were expected to be covered in the classroom. School is not a catch-all for everything your child will ever need to know.
Let me preface this by saying: I don't have children . . . yet.
However, this is something that my hubby and I have discussed as the school system down here in FL is abysmal at best and dangerous at worst. Yes, even here in Yuppy puppy land.
Will we homeschool? I don't know. We own a restaurant and while the benefits of having the kids on our schedule instead of the other way around would be nice, I don't want them to miss out on some of the nice "school" things. I am lucky though, there are several homeschooling families in our church who I've talked to and would be happy to mentor us.
Decisions Decisions
-Jen K.
We're only in our second year of homeschooling. I had never seen that quote (love it!) but it resonates with why we are homeschooling.
When my boys were toddlers people were always telling me how the years fly by... and I would think to myself, as I changed the umpteenth diaper and wiped the bazillionth cup of spilled milk, "Yeah, but you can choke on a day!"
But the years DO fly by. My boys will be "little" for such a very short time. My oldest is already 12! I don't want the school to get the best part of their day. I don't want to miss the opportunity to shape and mold them.
I don't want to miss the fun times WITH them!
Would I have time to teach them to clean bathrooms between getting home from school, going to soccer practice, and doing homework?
Would I have time to snuggle on the couch and try to answer questions about what heaven will be like?
Would I have time to memorize verses with the boys?
Would they have time to build "Dino-opolis" in the backyard?
Would my 12 year old take time to play with his 7 year old brother?
Would my 9 year old (who is Hearing Impaired) have time to get all the clarification he needs, to understand?
Would we all have time to play, and do chores, and make messes, and clean up, and bicker, and work it out?
If they left the house for 6 - 8 hours a day?
I want the best part of their day... I want as much of it as I can get! :0) Because how can I truly love my kids, know them, and disciple them if they're not around???
Julie
I love that quote. I was a nanny before I had my son and I would say that it is very true. The kids I took care of hardly spent any time with their parents. I knew more about their kids than they did! The would call me to ask questions at night! Can you imagine not knowing important information about your own children? And with more kids in daycare and more early childhood programs popping up more parents know less and less about their own children. And the worse part is that more and more parents are willing to just pack up their own kids and let someone else raise them. The kids I was a nanny for we trophy children.
Anyways, I once heard someone say that they home schooled because they were selfish. They did not want to give anyone else the pleasure of watching their children learn and grow. And I loved that. We need more parents like that.
As a public school teacher and a huge advocate of public education, it might be a surprise that I agree with this quote...but I do. I hesitate to opine too much since I don't have children of my own (yet), but I strongly believe that each parent has the responsibility to critically examine their child's education--academic, moral, spiritual, social, physical--and supplement in what ever areas are lacking.
For example, I might be ok sending a child to a school that I thought was academically mediocre but had great opportunities for a child to learn about other cultures, languages, etc. I would know that my job as a parent would be to supplement the academic and spiritual/moral pieces at home on the evenings and weekends. Alternately, parents who choose to home school have to make sure they're supplementing to social and cultural exposure and ability to work in larger groups that their children miss out on in home school.
Just my thoughts. Subject to change the second I actually hold my own child in my hands.
I'd never read that quote before, but it explains (much more poetically) one of the main reasons we decided to homeschool. When I actually saw how much time you spend with your children vs. them at school or doing homework, it made me realize that if they were in PS I would really be giving up the majority of their time, and any I got with them would be leftover and probably not very good quality.
I've raised 2 children totally in public school. Our first, now almost 21, received a top-notch pre-college education. Our 2nd born is now a senior and I see that some of the best teachers the 1st got to have we'ren't around for him. They both have a deep relationship with Christ. They've been exposed to all kinds of culture from evolution, homosexuality, to drugs and alcohol and you name it. We've always tried our best to limit our outside activities and prevent too much business. I think with the boys we have been able to show them the real-world through the eyes of Christ. Our boys are well equipt to show others the love of Christ they have inside. I am very proud of their positive influence in the world. My daughters are coming up now in the public arena. It's not so easy to let go. Mia is learning so much and has blossomed being with other kids. Michaela is learning self-control and how to deal with peer pressure. We have to talk ALOT! I am convinced of the benefits yet see the limitations. Where their are drawbacks, I try to suppliment. I could homeschool, but I don't believe effectively to allow them to become a part of our small community. I've seen over, and over the results of the children pulled out and either put into a separate Christian academy or a homeschool. I just don't think they've had richest of environments for it because the parents limit them in one area yet push them too hard in others. Balance is key. You can have kids well adjusted in either realm, but they all must learn to live in this horrible, modern world too. Lisa - you are the closest to balanced I've ever seen. You're kids are not secluded. If I homeschooled here, my kids would be alienated.
I'm in my 7th year of homeschooling, and am happy to say that I'm not a stranger to my daugther's soul. Nor, is she a stranger to mine. We spend all day every day together and it's still not enough for me. She's 11 now and still comes running,yelling, Mama, mama when she has been away--even for just an hour. I pray that continues as it is kindling to my soul. I have a step child in public school here in Fl, I homeschool my other stepchild, and I agree that you can know your child's heart even if you don't homeschool. However, when they are gone 7 hrs a day and you have very little cooperation from the eductional staff, it's very difficult to be effective. My hat goes off to all of us: homeschool parents, public school parents , and those overwhelmed public school teachers.
We homeschool, and we're glad we do.
~Susan
P.S. My husband is in his fifth year as a high school math teacher in a public school. He's especially glad we've kept our children home for their education.
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