The Adoption Decision: Part 6

I waffled for a few months on the adoption decision.

Adopt, don't adopt. Adopt, don't adopt.

It was maddening.

And the more I read about adoption, the more I wanted to turn tail and run.

You read that right.

I knew about the road ahead. The questions to answer. The issues to face. I felt overwhelmed and unprepared for all that an adoption was going to require of me.

It was not unusual for me to end an evening in tears, emphatically saying to my husband: "We Are Not Adopting."

By the way, he was fully willing to go either direction--birthing more children, or adopting. He was just waiting for me to make up my mind.

Bless his heart.

And then one night, he said these magic words to me:

"Which would you regret more?"

And then I knew. I knew that I would miss not having more children by birth. But by golly, I did not want to reach the end of my life and regret not adopting. It was what I was supposed to do. It was such a part of me that to not follow through would be an ever greater loss than whatever trials lay ahead. And once I made the decision, I moved ahead with deep joy and contentment.

I was going to be a Mama. Again.